It Sucks To Be Me
by Ishkiee
Summary: A parody of the song "It Sucks To Be Me" from Avenue Q, with characters from Kingdom Hearts.


Hey again, I figured I'd submit this one too! I wrote it a couple months about, back in March I think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Avenue Q!  
Warning: Swearing, though only once or twice.

* * *

It Sucks To Be Me

Sora grabbed the rubbish bag from its placement in the rubbish bin and stepped outside onto his front porch, dropping the rubbish into the bin next to him, sighing and looking out at the neighbourhood, noticing his good friend, Namine, walking up to him.  
"'Morning Sora!" she said enthusiastically,  
"Hi Namine," he responded, far less enthusiastically.  
"How's life?" she asked,  
"Disappointing." He said matter-of-factly,  
"What's the matter?"  
"The catering company laid me off." He stated,  
"Ohh, I'm sorry!" she offered,  
"Me too! I mean, look at me!" He gestured towards himself,  
"I'm ten years out of college and I always thought.. Ugh," he hesitated,  
"What?" She questioned sympathetically,  
"No, it sounds stupid." He said bluntly,  
"Aww, come on!" She urged,  
Sora sighed and continued, this time in song.  
"When I was little I thought I would be.." he hesitated again,  
"What?" She pressed,  
"A big comedian on late night tv," he looked away, not wanting to see her reaction,  
"Ohh," Namine giggled,  
"But now I'm 32, and as you can see I'm not," he continued,  
"Nope." She sympathised,  
"Oh well,"  
"Mm,"  
"It sucks to be me." He stated bluntly,  
"Nooo!" Namine tried to convince him otherwise,  
"It sucks to be me!" He continued,  
"Nooo!" She further pursued,  
"It sucks to be broke, and unemployed, and turning 33." He numbered off on his fingers,  
"It sucks to be me." He finished.  
"You think your life sucks?" Namine asked rhetorically,  
"I think so!" Sora answered, despite the rhetorical question,  
"Your problems aren't so bad!" Responded Namine,  
"I'm kinda pretty, and pretty damn smart," she explained in song,  
"You are!" exclaimed Sora,  
"Thanks!" She replied quickly before continuing, not wanting to lose her rhythm,  
"I like romantic things like music and art!" She gestured outwards at the mentioning of music and art,  
"And as you know I have a gigantic heart!" she continued,  
"So why," she held the note for a second before continuing,  
"Don't I have a boyfriend?! Fuck! It sucks to be me!"  
"Me too!" Brian added in,  
"It sucks to be me!"  
"It sucks to be me! It sucks to be Sora,"  
"And Namine,"  
"To not have a job!" Sora tried to win the argument,  
"To not have a date!" Namine countered.  
"It sucks to be me." They sung in unison.  
Just then Demyx and Zexion stepped out of their apartment bickering with each other as usual about some nonsense Sora and Namine didn't necessarily care about, though Sora had an idea that just might settle his and Namine's argument.  
"Hey Zexion, Demyx, could you settle something for us, do you have a second?" He spoke up,  
"Um, certainly." Zexion replied,  
"Mhmm!" Demyx added in.  
"Whose life sucks more?" Namine asked,  
"Sora's or mine?"  
"Tch, ours!" Demyx and Zexion responded in unison,  
"We live together," Zexion sung,  
"We're close as people can get!" Demyx added,  
"We've been the best of buddies,"  
"Ever since the day we met!"  
"So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset!" Zexion irritably,  
"Wha-!" Demyx tried to speak up, but Zexion cut him off,  
"Ohh! Every day is an aggravation!" Zexion exclaimed,  
"Come on, that's an exaggeration!" Demyx tried to reason.  
"You leave your clothes out; you put your feet on my chair!" Zexion tried to counter,  
"Oh yeah?! You do such anal things like ironing your underwear!" Demyx triumphantly countered back, imitating someone ironing whilst singing.  
"You make that very small apartment we share a hell!"  
"So do you! That's why I'm in hell too!"  
"It sucks to be me!" Zexion shouted, holding the note,  
"No, it sucks to be me!" Demyx joined in, holding the note along with Zexion,  
"It sucks to be me!" Namine added,  
"It sucks to be me!" Sora joined in,  
"Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be? It sucks to be me!" They all sung in unison,  
All of a sudden the four of them began skipping around the road singing, one after the other,  
"Da da da da daaa!" Namine began,  
"Da da da da daaa!" Sora joined,  
"Da da da da daaa!" Demyx joined too,  
"Da da da da!" Finished Zexion,  
They repeated the cycle once again, and then paused all singing as Kairi stepped out of the apartment she and Sora shared.  
"Why are you all so happy?" She asked,  
"'Cause our lives suck!" Demyx offered,  
"Your lives suck?" Kairi questioned, "I hearing you correctly? Hah!" She shouted,  
"I coming to this country, for opportunities, try to work in Korean deli, but I am Japanese!" She threw her arms in the air,  
"But with hard work I earn two master's degrees in social work, and now I am therapist!"  
The foursome around her nodded in congratulations,  
"But I have no clients!"  
They abruptly stopped nodding, replacing their supportive expressions with sympathetic ones as she began walking towards Sora,  
"And I have an unemployed fiancé!" She gestured to him,  
"And we have lots of bills to pay!" She drawled out, slapping his shoulder all the while, with him trying to defend himself from her not-very-lethal hits.  
"It suck to be me!" she stated, "It suck to be me! I say it sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-  
sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-  
sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-  
suck! It suck to be me!"  
Just at that moment Roxas stepped on to their street, looking as if he was looking for some help.  
"Uhh, excuse me!" He spoke up,  
"Hey there!" Sora replied,  
"S-Sorry to bother you but I'm looking for a place to live," he explained,  
"Why you looking all the way out here?" Kairi asked,  
"Well, I started at Avenue A but, so far, everything's out of my price range," he laughed nervously,  
"But this neighbourhood looks a lot cheaper!" He said hopefully,  
"Oh and look a 'For Rent' sign!" he said, pointing towards the 'For Rent' sign outside of one of the apartments.  
"You need to talk to the superintendent, let me get 'im!" Sora offered, walking past him and cupping his hand by his mouth so as to amplify his voice,  
"Great! Thanks!" Roxas replied cheerfully,  
"Yo! Axel!" Sora shouted, alerting the superintendent that he was needed.  
"I'm comin', I'm comin'!" Replied Axel impatiently,  
"Oh my God, it's Axel Sasashi!" exclaimed Roxas, surprised that such a famous guy was the superintendent of a small group of apartments,  
"Yes I am!" Axel said, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling down at Roxas,  
"I'm Axel Sasashi, from tv's different strokes!" He sung,  
"I made a lot of money that got stolen by my folks! Now I'm broke, and I'm the butt of everyone's jokes!" Some laughing was heard in the distance,  
"But I'm here! The superintendent! On Avenue Q!" He held the last note for a few seconds before stopping and allowing the others to sing.  
"It sucks to be you!" They all sung in unison,  
"You win!" Namine stated,  
"It sucks to be you!"  
"I feel better now!" Said Sora admittedly,  
"Try having people stopping you to ask you 'Got it memorized?'" He paused for emphasis, "It gets old." He continued matter-of-factly,  
"It sucks to be you-ou-ou! On Avenue Q!" The others all sung in unison,  
"Sucks to be me!" Namine added in,  
"On Avenue Q!"  
"Sucks to be you!" She continued,  
"On Avenue Q!"  
"Sucks to be us!" She continued, the others then joining her in harmony,  
"But not when we're together! We're together here, on Avenue Q!" They sung,  
"We live on Avenue Q! Our friends do to!  
"Till our dreams come true! We live on Avenue Q!"  
"This is real life," Roxas stated, somewhat surprised at how they could all sing together in perfect harmony like they were doing,  
"We live on Avenue Q,"  
"You're gonna love it!" Demyx said to Roxas, patting him on the shoulder,  
"We live on Avenue Q!"  
"Here's your keys!" Axel dropped the keys to Roxas' apartment into his hand,  
"Welcome to Avenue Q!" They all sung to Roxas, still leaving him surprised at how they could all sing in such unison with each other, and then all abruptly left, leaving Roxas to find his apartment and settle in by himself.


End file.
